


Flowerbuds Reaching Between Twilight

by tatertotarmy



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Fire, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatertotarmy/pseuds/tatertotarmy
Summary: Four months, and the wounds were still fresh. Four months and Sakura still remembered her time as a prisoner of war as though it were still reality. Four months and her brothers were dead, and her sister still worked through every night to be the queen Hoshido deserved - and doubted herself every step of the way. That peace talks had gone slow was both a blessing and a curse for Sakura. A blessing that at least she had the time to settle into this new, twisted reality. A curse because every day, the memories and fears twisted higher and higher and grew harder to keep down inside of her.And that wouldn’t do at all. Sakura needed to be there for Hinoka. Neither of them expected to be queen. But now Hinoka led Hoshido and Sakura was second in line. Sakura needed to be strong. For Hinoka. For Hoshido. For peace, so that nothing like this would ever happen again.--Written for the Fire Emblem Writer's Zine.
Kudos: 10
Collections: Fire Emblem Writer's Zine





	Flowerbuds Reaching Between Twilight

_A flurry of red petals through the bright of day, dripping down all around her. Helpless pleas and wicked laughter in an auditory dance, filling the air to the brim. And Sakura, throat already dried of pleas to stop, her body unable to move._

_Why?_

_She surrendered. She agreed to be taken prisoner. Prince Xander said that everyone would be spared. Why did this happen? If she were only stronger or smart enough to realize…_

_Another body fell near her feet. Sakura looked up, eyes wide. Her hands twisted and pulled behind her, desperate to try and do_ something _. She needed to heal them. If she could just save one person from this massacre, then they could…_ she _could…_

_“Oh? Still have some life in you?”_

_A Nohrian soldier walked up to them. The Hoshidan soldier began to move. No! Sakura stared with wide eyes, her mouth open but the words not coming out. The sword raised above the Nohrian soldier’s head, raising higher and higher, a wicked smile on his face..._

_Before the blade fell, someone stepped into view, shielding her from the end. Sakura stared with wide eyes into bloodied clothes._

_“Don’t look, your highness.” A voice drenched in anger. Yukimura, the only other spared of this massacre. Sakura hung her head, her forehead falling against the battered frame of her countryman._

_She could still smell the stench in the air. Still hear the pleas between tight, despondent comforts. The red in Yukimura’s clothes only bloomed brighter, staining her entire sight._

_“It will be over soon.”_

_Another yell of a guard. The cackles of King Garon filling the air._

_“Be strong, Sakura.”_

_A drop of blood dripping down, rolling down her forehead._

“Sakura…”

_Where was Ryoma? Where was Takumi and Hinoka? She was so scared…please...save them…_

“Sakura!”

Sakura’s eyes snapped open, and the nightmare was over, replaced with the dark interior of a carriage, moonlight streaked between drawn curtains, and her older sister, Hinoka, with a firm hand on her shoulder. 

“Oh...Hinoka…” Sakura blinked, looking around to ground herself in reality. No blood. No death. Just the here and now of the present, far from the memories of months prior. Just her and Hinoka. Nobody else. 

Hinoka smiled half-heartedly, “You’re really a heavy sleeper nowadays. Could hardly wake you up…”

“I-I’m sorry…” Sakura spoke, taking in a deep breath and putting on a meek, sheepish smile, “I’m just tired, I suppose…” 

“Well, you’ll have plenty of sleep soon.” Hinoka reached over to the curtain, gently pulling it back. “We just arrived at the next town. You can get a good rest here.”

Sakura turned her head, the smile slowly lowering to a neutral frown. Beyond the curtain of their carriage was yet another dark, dim landscape of the country that had conquered their own. The country where the sun scarcely shined: Nohr. 

No matter how many months passed, the sight still sent shivers down her spine.

Nearly four months ago, the war between Nohr and Hoshido ended. Though Nohr was the decisive victor, upon Prince Xander’s coronation there was more of a push for unity and cooperation as opposed to the pure conquest that King Garon desired. Of course, due to the shifts both countries experienced during the war, the talks were drawn out for longer than either country would have liked. On one hand, Nohr had to rid the corruption that gripped it under the false King Garon. And on the other hand...Hoshido had a new queen who never intended to take the throne for many years, if at all. 

After a long postponement, Nohr finally extended an invitation to Queen Hinoka and Princess Sakura for the beginning of what would surely be a long process of peace talks, the first of which would begin at Windmire. 

In front of her, Hinoka took in a shaky breath, “Our official escorts should be coming tomorrow…” 

Sakura could see the hand on the curtain tremble.

“I’m sure you’ll do a good job…” Sakura spoke, swallowing down the memories she witnessed, a timid smile back on her lips.

To fill the hole both Queen Mikoto and Ryoma left was a near-impossible task. Since the war concluded, Hinoka had thrown herself into being a proper queen for Hoshido, studying countless nights, trying to properly lead the country after a devastating defeat. After all, countless people died. The country lost their queen and two princes in the span of a single war, and the people needed guidance. Even after months, the shadow of their absence lingered. And it weighed heavily on everyone who remained.

“Thanks, Sakura,” Hinoka smiled sheepishly, and the carriage slowly slid to a halt. Hinoka drew back her hand, sitting up a little higher. Then, a knock came to the door, and it soon opened to a small gathering of Hoshidan soldiers, ready to escort their queen to her accommodations for the night. 

Hinoka took in a deep breath, and let it out, letting a more confident, masked smile fall on her lips. She stepped out of the carriage, and Sakura followed, looking around with an unsure look on her face. 

Another Nohrian town, just like all others before it. 

“Are you ready to get to bed?” Hinoka asked, turning towards Sakura.

“O-Oh...well…” Sakura shivered, shaking her head. “I’d like to take a walk around, first…”

“Alright,” Hinoka spoke, “Our soldiers should be all around, so I’ll ask them to keep an eye out, okay?”

Sakura smiled, nodding softly. It wasn’t as though she would go looking for trouble. Far from it. She just needed some time to clear her head, to let her blood settle after such a vivid memory visiting yet again. Though she doubted it would get better, especially as they descended further and further into the heart of Nohr. 

After brief goodnights and goodbyes exchanged, Sakura began to walk through the Nohrian town, weaving through darkened streets and empty fields. She wasn’t alone, as soldiers kept nearby, though they were far enough away for Sakura to stew safely in her thoughts, her eyes quietly taking in the scenery around them. Worn buildings and walls marred by fire. Boarded up windows and lanterns dying out. Abandoned farmland and plants that desperately reached for a sun that perpetually sat on the horizon. If Sakura didn’t know any better, she would have sworn this town to be abandoned, occupied only by Hoshidan soldiers.

Had Prince Xander arranged them to stay at an abandoned village? Was that why there were no Nohrian soldiers to be seen? Perhaps it would be a courtesy, after everything that had happened. Everything that she went through. Everything that Nohr had stolen from them.

Four months, and the wounds were still fresh. Four months and Sakura still remembered her time as a prisoner of war as though it were still reality. Four months and her brothers were dead, and her sister still worked through every night to be the queen Hoshido deserved - and doubted herself every step of the way. That peace talks had gone slow was both a blessing and a curse for Sakura. A blessing that at least she had the time to settle into this new, twisted reality. A curse because every day, the memories and fears twisted higher and higher and grew harder to keep down inside of her. 

And that wouldn’t do at all. Sakura needed to be there for Hinoka. Neither of them expected to be queen. But now Hinoka led Hoshido and Sakura was second in line. Sakura needed to be strong. For Hinoka. For Hoshido. For peace, so that nothing like this would ever happen again. 

Sakura walked by an old shop, looking long abandoned with boarded up windows, some of the wood scarred with the burn of a fire. At first, she frowned. Was this a result from the war? She didn’t remember Hoshido ever treading this far into Nohr territory. Maybe it was a fire...or something similar…

Sakura closed her eyes, and she saw flames. 

_Endless flames, scorching a mountain of corpses. The dead, all sporting Hoshidan armor. The living in Nohrian armor, grinning as they disposed of their deeds, torches in hand._

_She heard laughter. Yukimura shouting more curses at the Nohrians._

_“Get moving.”_

_There was a hand on her arm, pulling her violently to the side._

_“Don’t be in a rush.” Another voice, half-enveloped in laughter. “Let the princess see her people.”_

_More laughter. Sakura tried to turn away, only to be yanked right back in place. She couldn’t look away. She couldn’t. And she couldn’t help._

“Lady Sakura?”

Sakura opened her eyes, letting out a shaken breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She blinked, looking around to see a Hoshidan soldier, looking at her with concern.

“Are you alright, Lady Sakura?”

She had been obvious again. 

Sakura took in a breath, forcing her breathing back into a steady pattern. She smiled sheepishly, forcing everything back behind a locked door. She couldn’t do this. Hinoka needed support. And Sakura was the only sibling left alive to provide it. 

“I’m just feeling a little tired…” Sakura smiled, taking quick steps away from the shop. “I’ll join my sister.”

Unfortunately, memories behind locked doors always found their way through the cracks at night. By the next morning, when soldiers of Nohr came to meet them, Sakura was already trying to swallow them back down.

She just needed to forget. It was just peace talks. It was nothing like the Nohr she experienced under King Garon. It would be fine.

Sakura just needed to be strong for Hinoka.

The rest of the journey to Windmire was quiet, with Sakura’s anxieties growing even harder to contain. They passed more abandoned villages. Some populated villages from a safe distance. 

Hinoka spent most of the journey looking out the window to the twilight countryside. Sakura had to keep her eyes locked on the ground.

But much too quickly, the Hoshidan caravan reached the outer reaches of Windmire, signaling the start to the peace talks. The moments passing by the streets were slow, agonzing blurs to her, the only things that registered to her were the sways of lit lanterns shining through the curtains. She could feel the carriage descend further and further down to the heart of the city, to the castle that was cradled deep in the earth. And all the while the anxiety pitted in her stomach continued to rise, crawling up her throat like an illness infecting every inch inside her. All she could do was sit with her eyes to the ground, forcing a smile and nod whenever Hinoka looked her way. Whatever her sister said was lost on her. What mattered was keeping up appearances.

Peace. That was what this was for. Nothing bad would happen.

When the carriage finally stopped, she tried to swallow it back down. Swallow it as she exited the carriage to an entourage of both Nohrian and Hoshidan soldiers, falling in rank all around them. 

_She remembered the endless marches between battles, surrounded by Nohrian soldiers. The countless Hoshidans left to decay in the sunlight. Their lifeless eyes following her footsteps. The Nohrian’s hands on her bound wrists, pulling even when her legs gave out._

Sakura walked in silence beside her sister, walking towards the main gate of the castle, where two people stood in candlelight.

_She remembered the Nohrian princes and princesses fighting tirelessly against her people, marching closer to Castle Shirasagi. Though they always promised to spare as many as they could, they still returned soaked in blood. Even Elize, the one bright light of the war, always had blood on her hands. They all did._

“Welcome to Windmire, Queen Hinoka and Princess Sakura.” A commanding, frightening voice greeted them. “We thank you for joining us. I pray that you suffered no hardship on your journey here.”

Sakura swallowed, taking in the sight of the new king of Nohr, Xander, and the second-in-line for the throne, Camilla. 

Beside her, Hinoka bowed, “Thank you for your hospitality. The journey was...uneventful, thankfully.” The words were clumsy and stumbled through her mouth. The inexperience was obvious to anyone within listening distance. 

_Everyone around was looking at them. Just as the soldiers of Nohr did while she was imprisoned._

Sakura took in a long breath, shaky hands reaching down to her dress. And silently, she gave a little curtsy. 

“Well, come in!” Camilla spoke with a bright smile, gesturing for the two of them to come closer. “We have dinner prepared, so please join us.”

“Thank you…” Hinoka spoke, standing up tall as she led the way towards the castle. Sakura swallowed and took in a deep breath before following suit. Once the two passed into the candlelit halls of the castle, the doors slowly shut behind them, closing with a definitive noise. 

She couldn’t afford any mistakes now. 

Hinoka and Xander walked ahead, chatting politely with each other. Honestly, Sakura couldn’t believe that Hinoka could make a conversation with him. He was so intimidating. A frightening figure, even long-after the war. 

_A bloodied figure, standing tall above her from atop a horse, sword drawn. A threatening glare, the sun shining from behind him, casting a long shadow from his entire stature._

_Even before he called for her to surrender, she could hardly move. She was terrified._

“Oh, dear Sakura, your hair has gotten longer since I last saw you…” Sakura blinked, a bit surprised as Camilla fell in step beside her, a sisterly smile on her lips. 

“O-Oh, um…” Sakura stumbled, struggling to return to reality and take her eyes off of Xander’s back, “Yes...I’ve been growing it out…”

“It looks lovely,” Camilla smiled, “I know that it’s such a pain to care for, but I’ve always thought it’s worth it.”

“T-Thank you…” Sakura slowly raised up a hand to her hair, tracing a finger through the longer strands. It wasn’t too much longer than it was when the war ended, but just enough for Sakura to begin to notice. She didn’t grow it out for any particular reason. Just...with everything else happening, she never thought to ask someone to cut it. And cutting it herself was too risky, should her hand slip or shake. 

Maybe she should cut it. She always remembered how Takumi complained about how long it took to…

Sakura swallowed.

No, she wouldn’t cut it. 

“Mm?” Camilla blinked, tilting her head, “Is something wrong, dear?”

“N-No…” Sakura shook her head, forcing a smile, “I’m just feeling tired.”

“Oh? I’m sure nobody would mind if you retired early,” Camilla spoke, “After all, you just came from a long journey.”

“No, I’ll be fine…” Sakura took a few quicker steps ahead, averting her eyes. “I promise.”

Though Camilla didn’t say anything, Sakura could feel eyes on her back. 

Just one dinner. Sakura could stomach it. Then she could rest for the night. Then she would be ready for the entire peace talks. After all, if Hinoka was ready after all of the training she’d been through, then Sakura should be ready. She had to be. 

Unfortunately, it proved to be more of a struggle than she anticipated.

Sakura sat rigid in her chair, eyes locked down on her dinner - a collection of Nohrian dishes made of hardier foods that could survive perpetual twilight. It did smell good, and she did feel the slightest bit of hunger in her stomach. But every bite was tasteless, and it was a fight to get the food down her throat in the first place.

The reason?

Seated right at the other side of the table was the king of Nohr, and the very thought of it set her nerves on fire. 

All around her was casual conversation. Hinoka was having easier conversations with both Xander and Camilla after her first stumble outside. The peace talks hadn’t formally started yet, after all, which gave the setting a more casual tone than what would begin the next day. But still, Sakura couldn’t ease up. She could feel the fears crawl up inside of her, threatening to burst. She couldn’t even stand to look at Xander, or else she’d see the man from the battle many months ago, ordering a surrender that slaughtered her people. Rationally, she knew it wasn’t his fault. It was ordered by the former king.

But he had been there. Her people were dead. And now, no matter how bright the candles flickered on his face, all she could see were the shadows of war coated on him. And the blood that dripped from his hands. 

“And what about you, Sakura?”

Sakura’s eyes snapped open, looking up and around at three pairs of eyes locked on her. Who said that? She could register the words, but not the voice. 

“W...What?” Sakura asked, looking with confusion between Camilla and Hinoka. Both of the women had a twinge of concern in their eyes. Oh no, that wasn’t good. She swallowed. Just play an idiot, Sakura. Say something about being tired. That she needed to rest. But then she would leave Hinoka alone here, and she needed to support her sister. 

Just answer the question, and it would be fine. Just a little longer before she could rest. 

“I was asking how you’ve fared since we last met,” Xander asked.

She couldn’t look at him. 

“O-Oh...um…” Sakura locked her eyes on her lap, feeling all of their eyes on her. Watching. Waiting. It was a simple question. Say everything was fine. That helping Hinoka with Hoshidan affairs was difficult but rewarding. That she definitely didn’t dream of the events of the war every night since then. That she didn’t stop by her brothers’ empty chambers in the castle, sneaking a glance inside in some hope they would be back. That everything was fine and okay and she was _alright_ and could _definitely_ be at a peace meeting with Nohr. 

But nothing came. And she was frozen in her seat. 

“Sakura?” Hinoka asked quietly, leaning closer to her, “You look pale…”

“H-Huh?” Sakura spoke, “I-I feel fine…”

“You’re not…” Hinoka pressed, “Come on, sis…”

“I can direct the two of you to your rooms,” Xander suggested, “We can continue this tomorrow.”

No.

Xander and Camilla stood up. Sakura flinched, _looking across the table to see two shadowed figures standing above her. The same shadows she saw back on the day she was captured. A tall prince on horseback, flanked by hundreds more soldiers._

In seconds, Sakura was out of her seat, stumbling back. She was shaking, and she was hyper aware of every motion. What was she doing? All she was doing was making things worse for Hinoka. She was ruining the peace talks, after all of this preparation and build-up. But she couldn’t move. She was frozen in place, the shadows continuing to loom over and envelop her. 

And then a shadow took a step forward. In seconds, the weights on her snapped away, and Sakura was running. She could hear her sister call her name, as well as two more following suit. But she was terrified, her only instinct to run until she could finally reach sunlight again. To run far from the shadows that loomed over her since she failed the battle against Nohr. Shadows that stained her thoughts and the very life she lived in Hoshido. 

She passed through hallways. Passed by more Nohrians who looked at her with genuine concern. And finally, Sakura opened a door...and she was outside.

Darkened twilight greeted her, a black sky with barely a star contained within. No lights. Nothing but herself, the wall of the castle behind her, and rough, budding plants in what looked like an attempt at a garden. Sakura shut the door behind her, pressing her back against the stone wall and sliding down to the ground, curling up to hide from any onlookers from the windows. And she stared up at the sky, trying to find any light within that vast void.

But she only found darkness. It lingered in Nohr, after all. It was a country where the sun never shined. Sunlight never came here. Nothing like the sun that graced the land of Hoshido.

Though...even now it was dark in Hoshido. It was dark everywhere. No matter how the sun shined, the shadows of the war still clung to her skin. And none of it would wash away. No matter how much Sakura yearned for the sun, it would never come.

Slowly, tears began falling down Sakura’s cheeks, and she kept looking and looking for some desperation that it wasn’t real. That the twilight of Nohr would part and she could finally reach the sun again. 

Yet, it would never come.


End file.
